Testimonials
Dated February 14, 2011 from the Aunt of a Current Student
I was up visiting my nephew Zach this past Thursday and Friday. I can't tell you how impressed I was with the facility. Yes it does resemble a summer sleep away camp. But that is not what I am writing about. The change in my nephew in one year is amazing. I don't really know where he would be today without all of you. Your caring and your insights with all the boys are incredible. I know that is your profession and from my eyes you should all be awarded. I only met a few of the staff, Jeff, Connie, Dr. Sapan, Ande, and Pete.
Dated January 19, 2011 From the Parent of a Current Student
How do you decide to send your child away for 2 1/2 years? I had the most difficult time of my life trying to make that decision. I decided that it was either 2 1/2 years or possibly her whole life. It has proven to be the best decision of our lives. I now see we are going to have a future together and I honestly feel it is going to be a great future. Drugs, alcohol and opportunity had succumbed my daughter's life. My daughter hadn't just fallen into a bad crowd, she was looking for them. She wasn't an outcast or a wall flower looking to be accepted. She is a great soccer player, fairly good in academics, made friends easily and had friends that didn't drink alcohol or smoke pot. She decided that being high or drunk was the way to be. She was sneaking out of the house, leaving school at lunchtime and sneaking off after soccer games to get high or drunk. It started to consume her life. I did everything I could think of to keep her from drinking, smoking, sneaking out and skipping school. We were at each others throats on a daily basis. I asked her counselors what they suggested and I was told of two programs. They were both six month residential programs with outpatient for as long as it takes. I knew that six months was not going to make the kind of difference I needed it to make. It was going to get her sober, but how could six months make her see that she was looking at a long hard road. The programs were both an hour away and I knew the outpatient counseling would only last a month or two. She was going to make my life a living hell if I forced her to take an hour ride on a daily basis to get help that did not want. I needed a program that was going to make a change in my daughter's whole future. I didn't want a band aid, I needed a real solution. I want my daughter in my life and I want her to have a real future.
Dated January 18, 2011 from the Parent of a Current Student
We have been very pleased with the Elan School, which has provided the right structure and a life changing experience for our son. The staff is very experienced with influencing the students and bringing about change. They are the right people and Elan is the right environment. It’s not a fancy environment, but what goes on daily with the staff and students is what makes the difference and will produce the change that parents are looking for. Ultimately, the students must do the work themselves, but we give full credit to the nurturing atmosphere at Elan and the great group of teachers and counselors who have helped our son along the way.
We would like to express our thanks and gratitude to the staff at Elan School for the wonderful job they have been doing over the past several months with our son. They are equipping him with the tools for success. We have seen his self-esteem and confidence accelerate since he has been at Elan. He is able to see what mistakes he has made in the past and why. Group sessions and other aspects of the life skills program are enabling him to understand his feelings and control his actions. He is attending classes, doing homework, playing sports and actively participating in his role in the Elan community. We like the changes we are seeing and are looking forward to seeing him graduate the program with a clear understanding of himself and his needs for the future.
Dated December 10, 2010 From the Mother of a May, 2010 Graduate
Our daughter has recently graduated from Elan and is in her first year of college. It’s been a challenging transition but my husband and I are both hopeful and optimistic, because we remember a time when we didn’t know if she’d live long enough to graduate high school. If I think back to when we first had to send her away, twice to wilderness camp, once to another therapeutic boarding school, I remember the sense of desperation, the fear and most of all, the confusion. There were many programs. Some offered full cadres of licensed PhD’s, others offered luxurious cabin residences with private chefs, and still others offered exotic strategies like equine therapy.
In the end we chose Elan because it was the most straight - forward and the most affordable. It was honest and no nonsense and it was our only hope. We did believe then as we do now that if we simply trusted the process, with open eyes and open minds, that our daughter would have a chance not only to survive but also to thrive. We wanted, above all, for her to develop self-respect, a sense of purpose, and resourcefulness to draw on when she encountered life’s challenges and disappointments.
It was never easy, not for her and not for us. But, as Elan teaches, ‘the only way out is through’. There are no shortcuts to becoming a confident, ethical, kind and productive human being who builds meaningful relationships and confronts life’s inevitable hardships with self-reflection and resolve. I believe that our daughter, through the coaching and guidance she received at Elan, is on that path. She knows where she needs to go, and while we do expect setbacks and moments of self-doubt we know she’s acquired the tools and perspective to pull herself back up when she falls. I attribute that to the insight and integrity and of the Elan staff. They simply would not allow our daughter to settle for less than she is capable of. And, even all the odds seemed stacked against the desired outcomes, they pushed her to achieve beyond her own expectations. We would not be where we are today without their unrelenting commitment.
Elan is no magic wand and no panacea. None exists, nor should it. In the end it is up to the individual student to take responsibility for his or her future after Elan. That, I believe, is the most important lesson we give our children who will face an increasingly challenging and competitive world when they strike out on their own to earn a living, start a family and build meaningful lives for themselves. It would be irresponsible of us as parents to teach our children that the buck stops with anyone else.
From a Parent of a June 4, 2010 Graduate to a Parent of a New Student
Welcome to Elan! As everyone will tell you the first few months are the hardest. The unsettling mix of anxiety and relief, getting used to the foreign language - Elanese, adjusting to the ups and downs your child experiences, learning to tolerate a lack of communication with your child, and feeling you have given up control - are some of the things I experienced as a new Elan Mom. I initially found it to be an intense emotional roller coaster ride that eventually transitioned into longer and longer areas of plateau - as my daughter started to learn how to deal more competently with her anxieties and frustrations, and as I started to realize her emotional state was her responsibility not mine.
Right now my daughter is working as a Unit Leader at a Girls Scout Camp - loving it and applying many of the hard-earned tools she learned at Elan. She starts college this fall. If anyone had told me this was a possibility two and a half years ago when my husband and I dropped off our angry, drug addicted daughter at Elan, I would have thought them totally delusional. Is she "cured"? No. Is her personality different than when she entered Elan? No. She is still her funny, bright, quirky self with all the strengths and weaknesses. The difference is Elan offered her the structure to realize and own the best in herself. Elan also provided a safe platform in which to express and examine the worst within herself. While those fears don't disappear, she has a set of tools and strategies that have been internalized and which she is now putting into action in the real world. While the Elan process doesn't change, every child's journey through it is different and every family must learn to make adjustments. One thing I know to be true, Elan never gave up on my daughter - and believe me she fought long and hard. I couldn't have found a better place. Although "the place" may be lacking in luxuries, Elan is really the priceless commitment and experience the staff gives to each child. My husband and I know we owe our daughter's life to their care, honesty, and expertise.
I wish your family the best and hope you work through this struggle. While I don't mean to be presumptuous, I believe I have experienced some of your pain and sense of loss, and therefore offer some advice: - be very pro-active in communicating with staff, and trust their counsel. What they say is not easy, but it can pay off big time for your child and your relationship with your child.
From an Elan Parent Regarding his May, 2010 Graduate
It was the day after Christmas 2006 when my wife and I arrived at Elan with our 18-year-old daughter, our only child. We were hoping the school would agree to take her in and praying she would agree to stay. She had just spent four weeks in a drug rehabilitation program in upstate New York, her second stint in that type of well-appointed facility. The program there had done little to convince her that she should stay away from drugs even though she had been hospitalized on two separate occasions because of overdoses. The people she had been hanging around with were drug users and petty thieves and she was engaging in sexually risky behavior. We simply could not take any more of her abusive behavior at home. Our daughter was in danger of dying or going to jail, unless she could find a safe place that offered strong, firm structure.
Our family received a great Christmas present when the staff at Elan agreed to give her the opportunity to attend the school, even though she was 18 and could sign herself out. We had told our daughter she had two choices: go to Elan or go live in a homeless shelter. It was not an easy journey coming to that decision but we’d been living in Hell for two years; enough was enough. She wisely chose Elan, agreeing to stay for just one year. As we drove down Range Hill Road heading home, my wife and I opened the car windows and literally shouted with relief.
During the first six months of her stay at Elan, she argued and behaved like a child. It was a roller coaster ride, but gradually she started to change. She was able to start changing because she got firm, persistent and wise guidance from the Elan staff, as well daily challenges in peer groups where she was forced to talk truthfully about her emotions, particularly her fears. As the one-year anniversary approached, my wife and I dreaded the possibility that she would leave the safety of Elan. But amazingly, she decided to stay another year.
During the second year, she continued to grow emotionally, developing a greater understanding of what it means to be responsible to both herself and those around her. She started distance running again, a sport she had given up for drugs. She worked hard at school at night and took college courses. Her job-related duties at the school grew and became more complex, demanding more responsibility and leadership. Her self esteem began to return. She still fought with her inner demons, but she couldn’t deny that Elan had gotten her back on a positive path.
During that second year, she got frustrated at times, talked about leaving, and she was angry at the end of that period when we asked her to stay another five months. But she somehow did it. And those last few months have proven critical to her growth.She completed an Elan graduation after emotional growth that saw her reach the level of Coordinator and take college courses off the Elan campus.She will be attending a four-year college this Fall. In the mean time, she was able to land a job as a counselor at a summer camp, no mean feat in this tight job market. She has come a long way, lifting herself out of the darkness and into the light. She had wonderful guidance from Elan’s experienced staff. People who have been there for decades and know how to handle troubled teens with sensitivity, strength and intelligence. We are simply in awe of them. While we are not naïve enough to believe that Elan is an absolute cure, we know there is not a more committed, caring staff of people willing to go the distance for your child.
She still has a long road ahead of her in life, with bumps along the way. But she is better skilled to handle emotional setbacks because of all the work she has done at Elan.
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