Name: Lee B

Age: 47

Graduated from Elan School: 1974

What circumstances brought you to Elan?
After losing my Father at the age of 10, I had become very rebellious, angry. At the time my Mother enrolled me at Élan I was headed toward serious trouble. My Mother, raising me alone at the time, was unable to deal with some of my behaviors such as rage and verbal abusiveness.

What were your relationships (family and friends) like before Elan and how have they changed as a result of coming here?
Before graduating from Élan I gravitated towards other rebellious and angry youth. They were the type of friends that parents would classify as the, “wild,” ones. These friends were always just a little bolder than I was and willing to try things I was not. Being at Élan gave me the opportunity to see the difference between constructive and destructive  relationships. 

How did you feel about being at Elan when you were here?
I was scared at first. I begged my Mother to get me out of there. Thank God she didn’t. As time went on, I began to develop a sense of who I might become in the world without the anger and rage. I had role models for the first time who had been through enough to earn my respect. Towards the end of my time I could see that I had gone from fear to love for Élan and the close friendships I developed with staff and students. 

How do you now feel about having been at Elan?
Grateful--It was one of the toughest decisions my Mother ever made for my life. She sacrificed her own desire to have me around in favor of what was best for me. I learned lessons I continue to use to this day.

Where did you go/what did you do after leaving Elan?

What skills did you learn while at Elan that have helped you in your adult life?
To identify pain as the reason people are often angry and in rage. To develop skills that have allowed me at times to help them.  I also learned that help most often comes from the shared life along with good counseling. Both are needed for long term change. 

What is your fondest memory of your time here?
Living with Joe Ricci and his wife. I was the youngest graduate Élan had at the time and Joe and his wife took a special interest in me. I admired Joe. He was bigger than life to me at the time and he became the Dad I never had.  I think of him often, miss him, and am grateful for his personal sacrifices and belief that youth are worth investing in. 

What advice would you offer to parents considering Elan for their child?

What advice would you offer to a student just entering Elan?
You may be thinking that the world is against you right now; that your parents and even friends have betrayed you. Why are you angry? Why do people who have love for you see a reason for the need for immediate change in your life? Nothing lasts forever; this time at Élan will be short compared to your hopefully long life. Stop long enough to listen to what people are telling you and it just might make sense. I thought I knew everything when I got to Élan, I found out there people really care and I had some things to learn. You might too. I began to pray during my first days at Élan, specifically to Jesus, because I was afraid and alone. I would also recommend prayer if you’re afraid and alone, specifically to Jesus.

Do you still think about Elan?
Not only think about it but recommend it to parents. I will always have a special place in my heart for Élan. It helped shape me into the person I have become today. (I’m still learning and growing by the way.)

Where is your Elan Diploma?
It stays on the wall with my other diplomas. I’ve had great opportunities for conversations and to offer advice to parents as a result. It was signed by Joe Ricci among others I respect and remember with love. 

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
I hope the vision that Joe and those who began Élan will continue forever. There is a great need for the specific help and way Élan restores families and youth to a productive life. With Eagerness of spirit, is part of the motto I will hold dear for the rest of my days, a gift from Élan.  Keep going and never tire of reaching out and helping. You are loved. 

Is there anything your mother/father would like to add?
I lost my father at the age of ten and my mother went home ten years ago when I was thirty-seven. My mother would have wanted to say, “thank-you,” to Joe and others for giving her back her son.