Name: Karen M

Age: 22

Graduated from Elan School: 2004

What circumstances brought you to Elan?

What were your relationships (family and friends) like before Elan and how have they changed as a result of coming here?
Well my relationships before Elan were non-existent. I was very selfish; therefore I was not able to keep up healthy relationships. My lack of boundaries allowed me to use others as well as be used by them. I had no sense of what commitment, trust, and love meant. All very important components that form healthy relationships. My relationships have changed immensely after I left Élan. I am more confident in myself, which for one allows me to take risks and make relationships with people. In Elan I learned my weaknesses, this has helped me keep healthy relationships and discard those that aren’t healthy for me. I have a great relationship with my family now! I never thought I would feel this comfortable around them, but I do and I’m loving it!

How did you feel about being at Elan when you were here?
I did not like being at Elan at first. I thought I could handle things on my own and I didn’t need to be there. I would daydream about all the things I was missing at home. By the time I had been at Elan for about 2 years and was turning 18, I started to realize that Elan was where I had true friends. I had accomplishments, I had failures, I had great laughs, and I had never felt that safe anywhere else in my life.

How do you now feel about having been at Elan?
I thought there are many things that I got frustrated and upset with at Elan but I know that without that experience, I wouldn’t be who I am today. When I look back on my life and how I was acting at 12 years old it brings tears to my eyes. Who knows where I would’ve of ended up by age 18. So I am very thankful that I was at Elan, patching up my past to make my future what it is now.

Where did you go/what did you do after leaving Elan?
This is the fun part, bragging about all my accomplishments! ? Well after I left Elan I was able to attend my high school graduation. From there I went to a community college and worked while staying with my parents. This is where I met my fiancé. We have a beautiful two-year-old daughter and are attending Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. We are getting married on May 31st, 2008. We live on our own and are saving up to buy a house once we graduate! I am going to school to become a 2nd or 3rd grade teacher and am loving every minute of it. Ok well not every minute, its hard work!

What skills did you learn while at Elan that have helped you in your adult life?
I learned my weaknesses. For example I liked to feel important, loved, and beautiful. This may not be bad, everyone likes to feel wanted, but I know that when I look for this void to be filled with people who cannot give it to me I’m in trouble. I also learned that accomplishments that I make can be used to fill this void that I feel often. I used to be terrified to make a mistake and to be embarrassed. Elan helped me realize that I will always make mistakes and I need to gain the confidence in myself to take risks. Having confidence in myself has really allowed me to take control of my life, and lead my daughter in hers. I have learned much more, but these are the main areas that have really helped me in everyday life.

What is your fondest memory of your time here?
Winning state championships with the girls cross country team. That has been by far the best experience I have had in my life. I loved running with the team; I actually miss that closeness we all had when we stepped out on the course, or on our weekend runs.

What advice would you offer to parents considering Elan for their child?
If you are planning on sending your child here, it must be pretty bad at home. I know how hard it must be for you to hand your child over to a place that is far away knowing that they don’t want to go and will be pretty upset with you. Elan has helped many struggling teens overcome their battles and be able to turn their lives around. The beginning is hard, but at least you know they are safe and are being held accountable. All I can really say for sure is that Elan was the right choice for my family and me.

What advice would you offer to a student just entering Elan?
Elan will not change you, that is up to you. Elan will however; give you the tools you need to survive and live a healthy life style. The amazing thing about this is that this is different for everybody. The staff and your peers are here to help you understand your weaknesses and teach you how to turn them into strengths. This is a once in a lifetime chance to work through the issues and hurts of your past in a safe and forgivable environment. So take your time seriously and don’t be scared to change.

Do you still think about Elan?
Yes, all the time. I have actually visited quite a few times since I have left. I try to make it back once a year to run a race with the cross-country team. I miss my staff members and can’t wait to make it up there again soon. They are like family to me.

Where is your Elan Diploma?
On the wall in our office/ guest room.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
I am a strong, beautiful, intelligent mother who has control of her life. I could not have said this 6 years ago. I thank my parents and Elan for giving me this opportunity to change, because I don’t think I could of done it on my own.

Is there anything your mother/father would like to add?

My wife and I thought the program at Elan was extremely beneficial for our daughter Karen. The program was a tough program and we trusted the staff and supported them throughout the three years Karen was at Elan. The staff was always committed to Karen's progress and there was very little turnover in staff while Karen was at Elan which added to continuity in the program. Karen learned practical life skills and she is now able to face challenges in her life by drawing on the skills she has learned at Elan. Karen was also able to increase her self confidence through the Cross Country program at Elan. Karen continues to visit the school at least once a year and has run cross country with the team. Karen was able to earn her high school diploma and she was prepared for college and she is currently a senior at Southern Illinois University in the primary grades teaching program. We have our daughter back thanks to God and the hard work by all the staff and teachers at Elan. We thank all those who had a hand in shaping our daughter while she was at Elan.

Yours Truly,

Gregg M – Karen’s Dad