Name: Lindsey G

Age: 22

Graduated from Elan School: 2005

What circumstances brought you to Elan?

I had many learning problems as a kid and was put in special education schools which helped me learn but what I focused on was that I felt stupid and having to be in a special school made me feel awkward with other kids. This caused me to avoid school. When I was enrolled in a public high school, I used it as an opportunity to do whatever I wanted which meant never going to school. Finally, I was demoted from 10th grade and soon after that asked not to come back. I had issues with the authority of my parents and a lack of respect for them. i was physically and verbally abusive to my family and self-destructive towards myself. I started avoiding home and staying at friend's houses without informing my parents where I was. In return, they were always worried about me and I am sure they thought the worst. 

I have been in lots of therapy, on lots of medication and diagnosed with various "personality issues." I could not express my emotions and would cry almost uncontrollably when I was either in therapy and asked something or challenged in some way. I was smoking and experimenting with drugs from 12 years old. I was socially awkward with no boundaries and I acted obnoxious and wild; I was the "crazy girl."  

What were your relationships (family and friends) like before Elan and how have they changed as a result of coming here?

Before Elan I couldn't stand to be near my parents or have them ask me questions as simple as how my day was. I would yell for no reason and act out if the slightest thing didn't go my way. My friends were all people that I hung out with because I thought they were like me, and we all accepted ourselves doing things that were well above our age group, and of course, some things illegal. I did not care about most of them. I had stolen items such as money from both my parents and my "friends."

Now I am picky with my friends! I value relationship substance where I am able to have fun, but not feel like I need to get out of control. Now my family is great and supportive, and I am a part of that. I accepted the issues of the past and realized there is nothing I can do about them, so I stopped being so angry at them.

How did you feel about being at Elan when you were here?
When I arrived at Elan I had no idea where I was or what this program was about; I didn't even know I was at a program! Or what one was. Soon I realized I could no longer do what I wanted. There were endless rules I had to follow and obligations to this "house" of people where I knew no one. I soon realized that I was in a place where I could express myself and my emotions. Elan was the first place where I felt safe.

How do you now feel about having been at Elan?
I feel that if I had to go through Elan to be the person I am today, then yes -- I am glad I went to Elan.

Where did you go/what did you do after leaving Elan?
After leaving Elan I decided not to go back to New York and live with my family but moved to Florida. First, I attempted a culinary school which did not suit me, so I pursued the work force for a while. Realizing that wasn't going to give me the future I wanted, I started attending Community College, where I am currently. I have almost completed this program and am planning to attend Florida State University in the fall where I plan to pursue a degree in Social Work.

What skills did you learn while at Elan that have helped you in your adult life?
Elan helped me gain confidence in myself and know who I am. Leaving Elan I understood who I was and why I did the things I did to land me there. I am completely different and all the people I tell my story cannot picture me as that person. Which is the way it should be.

What is your fondest memory of your time here?
My fondest memories of Elan are winning a Cross Country State Championship and graduating Elan; it was a long time coming!

What advice would you offer to parents considering Elan for their child?
Sending a child away is very difficult. It is a selfless act. For a long time there will be no gratitude. Parents can never fully understand what their child is going through there, and my advice would be to listen to them, because Elan is dealing with them now, and you can love them and be interested in how they are progressing without the same kind of stress you had to endure when your child was at home.

What advice would you offer to a student just entering Elan?
At Elan it is a battle every day. Every day you can choose how you want to be, how you want your life to go. Everybody gets broken down into who they really are at Elan. Most people do not like that person. The good thing about it is that everybody also has an opportunity to build a stronger self. Take what you don't like and fix it, keep what you like and let it evolve. People always say Elan is "where I grew up" and that is really true.

Do you still think about Elan?
Yes. Not too much though!

Where is your Elan Diploma?
In my room.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Elan is not guaranteed to change lives. Only if students see something in their lives they want to change, it becomes easy.

Is there anything your mother/father would like to add?
My parents say they are very grateful that I went to Elan. They do not know where I would be without the help I received and thank you!