Name: Marvin R

Age: 23

Graduated from Elan School: 2003

What circumstances brought you to Elan?
The reason I got sent to Elan was because I wasn't going to school, I didn't listen to my parents, I was using drugs, hanging out with the wrong group of people, easily influenced, and really didn't care about my future. My dad sent me to Elan because, he felt like “I was going to end up in jail or end up dead.”

What were your relationships (family and friends) like before Elan and how have they changed as a result of coming here?
 I always loved my family and friends but, by going to Elan and graduating from the school I honestly felt like I built a stronger and loving relationship with my family and friends. It gave me an understanding of who my real “friends” were and not to hang out with those that tried to drag me down.

How did you feel about being at Elan when you were here?
Honestly I had a lot of mixed feelings. I didn't believe it was happening. At first I thought my dad did it to scare me. I hated it, I felt lonely, cold, isolated, distant, disowned, embarrassed, the black sheep of the family, not loved but then I realized what I was there for. I came to the realization that this was the best thing for me. I can honestly say I always did better when I was away from home. Once Elan grew on me I respected it more and more over a long period of time. It made me who I am today and I still talk to some of my peers that I lived with still to this day.

How do you now feel about having been at Elan?
I feel Great! I'm doing my own thing and loving my life. I never really was a problem at Elan, I did what I was told and listen to the faculty/staff and my peers always. It just prepared me more for the world now that I look back on it. It was an experience I could never explain to a person if they didn't live it themself. I'm thankful for my dad making the right choice even though at the time I was mad at him.  it all paid off in the long run.

Where did you go/what did you do after leaving Elan?
Well, after Elan I went straight to Prep school for a year at New Hampton Prep School. Where I played basketball and football for the Varsity A team and started. That was a beautiful experience as well. I really enjoyed being at that school. Then I worked at a Community Center at the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Community Center, for two years with youth kids and gave back to the community. I had to get certified in order to work there which was a good experience in my life. Now I'm in my Sophomore year at Morehouse College and my concentration is Business Management.

What skills did you learn while at Elan that have helped you in your adult life?
 I gained many skills at Elan but the main skills that stand out to me are my people skills. I view the world different. I have worked on my social skills.  I worked on my leadership skills when I was Coordinator helping to run the house and having to meet certain time limits. I developed my Interpersonal skills, and my Intra personal skills by understanding the big picture and what Elan was really bringing to the table for me. Finally, being able to hold my peers accountable which was a big problem in the past,  I dealt with at Elan.

What is your fondest memory of your time here?
My fondest memory has to be Graduation! I always had my mind made up that I was going to Graduate but I never knew when. It could have been so easy for me to sign out at 18 years old but, I decided to do what was hard. I always tell myself “my mother didn't raise no quitter.” My family was so proud of me but I was even more proud of myself. They say, “Only you can do it but, you can't do it alone”, and now I truly understand what that means. If it wasn't for my friends holding me accountable and the faculty/staff confronting me in groups. I would have never seen that day of Graduation. I still remember till this day being in groups with Pete Rowe. He told us to look to our right and to our left and know that one of us were not going to make it to Graduation, and from that day on I told myself “its not going to me.”

What advice would you offer to parents considering Elan for their child?
I'm going to be honest Elan does not work for everyone. I seen people come and go including family members. I can only speak for myself it worked for me and I appreciate every day of my stay. If I could give any advice yes, it's a good school, it's a great way to gain a relationship with your child. I feel like without Elan I would have not made it in this world so it was a savior for me. I respect everything Elan has done for me and my family

What advice would you offer to a student just entering Elan?
Do what you are told and gain as much knowledge as you can from your peers, the faculty and the staff. Understand you are there to build a relationship with your family.  it's not a school where you go and hang out at. Get in touch with your real feelings.  Find out who you really are and what you want to do with your life after Elan. I graduated from Elan after 2 years and a couple months.  Time goes by fast. Understand the tough guys never knew if, you want freedom there is freedom at Elan. You have to do the right thing and be in the right position in order to witness the freedom. Elan is what you make of it, it feels good to run the house and have people look up to you. To be able to give advice to people in the program, to be able to relate at night with some of your friends. You have to be each other's crutches.  There is a saying, “Pull your brother up before he pulls you down."

Do you still think about Elan?
Yes, I always think about Elan. Elan is with me until my dying day. I remember it like yesterday -  I was just coming into the program from St. Thomas Moore Prep school at 15 soon to be 16 years old. Elan has a lifetime affect on me everything I do. Matter of fact, I went to visit Elan just before I started College.

Where is your Elan Diploma?
My Elan diploma is hanging up on my dad's wall in the living room.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Is there anything your mother/father would like to add?