A year ago today I made the scariest decision of my life. I decided to put my daughter in Elan. Everyday I worried if today was the day she would walk out our door and never come back. My fears were real. I knew it was only a matter of time, before she would have enough of me trying to keep her from what she wanted to do. I had taken away texting as a punishment once and told her I didn't have the money to pay for it when it was time for her to get it back. I had installed a program on the computer to monitor her instant messages and the websites she visited. If she talked about what she was planning to do, I could ward it off without her knowing. Most times she didn't talk online about things until after the party. For those occasions, I said a little birdie told me they saw her and she would get grounded. She was very aggressive at times. She had many screaming episodes when she was angry with what I was keeping her from doing. Her younger sister got to the point of being scared to be home alone with her. She would go to bed worrying that her older sister might come in her room and hurt her for telling on her. My older daughter would plead with me to just give up. She would tell me she liked to smoke pot and she was going to do it no matter what I said. She would tell me other parents allowed their kids to smoke pot, it was no big deal. It was a big deal to me. She was also drinking and most of the time she drank until she passed out. She was only 14 and I couldn't live with it.

I talked to friends and couselors at school. I asked if they knew of any programs. The counselors suggested two programs. They were both six month residential programs with outpatient after the six months. I forced my daughter to see a substance abuse counselor and I knew it would be extremely difficult to get her to an outpatient program on a daily basis. I also knew six months in a residential setting would only get her sober and scratch the surface. She was not just being a defiant teenager and hanging out with the wrong crowd. She likes the way she feels when she is high or drunk. A six month program is like a slap on the wrist. She needed a program that took its time and was structured enough to help her understand she was walking down the wrong path. I know there are no guarantees to anything like this, but I needed something that would give her a fighting chance to have a drug and alcohol free life.

A year later, I am smiling from ear to ear. She still has a long way to go, but the hurdles she has overcome have been fabulous. She and I write meaningful letters on a weekly basis and she thanks me for my words of advice. She says she loves my letters and loves to talk to me as she always feels so much better. I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this, as I never in a millon years would have believed I could have a relationship like this with my daughter. I want to thank the fabulous, caring people of Elan. I feel I have gotten a second chance with my daughter. I know when she graduates from the program she will have a bright future ahead of her.

Proud Elan Parent